Friday, October 29, 2010

again

I'm back in that place where I'm trying not to worry. I hate this feeling. I know it's a feeling, but I hate it. I need it in perspective. I do not want pity or sympathy, I just want to be done with this. I do not want to go around and around this stupid mountain. I want to get the picture and get it correctly the first time. This sucks.

I am reminded of the promise that we are more than overcomers. We have to have something to overcome to be more than overcomers, right? Well, I'm there - with something to overcome. I know that we are victorious. I know it, but the circumstances don't look at all that way. Bleh, bleh, bleh.

Monday, October 25, 2010

Full circle

I need sleep! I cannot believe how Joshua is NOT sleeping! This is ridiculous...

Thursday, October 21, 2010

???

I've got so many things running around in my head that it's just almost silly. Hodge Podge would be a good alternative title for this one.


Josh has been saying he wants to drive the green car. He insists. The conversation usually goes that he wants to drive. He gets asked how old he needs to be to drive and he answers 16. Then he gets asked how old he is and he answers 3. Then he goes on to say how he wants 3 to drive. And he doesn't wanna be 3, he wants to be 16. And then he is 16. And he needs to take off his seat belt so he can drive. He's a good driver. And a good faster driver. And Mommy's not a good faster driver cuz people pass me sometimes. Every.Single.Day.


Anyway, on the way home from the babysitter's yesterday, we went through our conversation a couple of times and it dawned on me that we do this exact same thing to God. We wanna drive. Nevermind that we're 3 and we need to be 16. Nevermind that there's a permit time involved. Nevermind that we don't know the first thing about it except that there's a steering wheel and that we can be faster. Thank you, God, that you have me in a five-point harness in the back seat. That is definitely the safest place for me.


On to other things...

So, I know all the verses and passages about not worrying and all. I really do and I really don't have too much of a problem most of the time. I'm just not gonna go any further with that one.


And other things...

We had to do 5 minute talks this week at school. Scary. But God really worked a number on me. They dropped the 5 min. talk bomb on Monday. It's a "be ready in season and out" kinda' thing. It's supposed to be a surprise. I dodged it pretty hard. And joked about how I was gonna have a coronary. It's really something pretty close to a coronary, I think, when somebody tells me to get in front of a group of people and talk. I can talk from my desk just fine, thank you. I like it even, when it's spontaneous, or a question I need to ask. I just don't wanna stand in front of anybody in any type of a formal type of situation and talk. I mean, who wants to listen to anything I might have to say? They thankfully didn't make it to me on Monday, and I didn't look at the schedule for the rest of the week to see when the next time would be. It's not that I wanted to be surprised, I just didn't think of it.

I love how the Holy Spirit corrects me so lovingly. There is truly no condemnation coming from Him at all. But he doesn't pull any punches either. He showed me that one day in the future, I would be ministering to women. Like in a speaking engagement kind of way. I didn't question it or really think it was silly at all while he was showing it to me. I just accepted it as a gift of Him showing me something to come.

All of a sudden, He put the two together. How can you speak in front of a group of women if you can't speak in front of your brethren? What makes you think that the revelations I give you are for you alone? You are blessed with these revelations to be a blessing to others. What I give you, I give you to share. You're being a bit prideful in keeping yourself to yourself with the things I give you because you are more worried about what other people think of you than what I've given you as a gift to give to others.

Introvertedness is pride. I may have put that on here before somewhere, but it bears repeating. Any time I consider my own opinion of myself above what the Lord says of me, it's pride. Even if that opinion is low instead of the common idea of pride being lofty. Just because I think I'm not interesting or have anything to say doesn't mean that I get to choose to not share what He's given me. It's all about Him anyway, right?

Well, I made it through it without a coronary. And my topic of discussion? I talked about talking in front of people and the work the Lord did in me while I was dodging the situation. Oh, and God's sense of humor...I was dodging the talk in front of one class of about 15 students, so on Wednesday when I did my 5 minutes, the other class combined with ours and added another 8 or so people.

So many things to learn...

Friday, October 15, 2010

Ummm

I really wanna just type, but I need to be careful.

Today I have let my emotions take some control. It is not ok. I know who I am in Jesus and I can't let the cares of this world cloud out that understanding. No matter what things look like, I'm an overcomer. I'm the head and not the tail, the beginning and not the end. I'm blessed and highly favored of the Lord. God loves me as much as He loves Jesus.

I know I've typed all those things on here before, but I'm kinda' having a time of it today.

I allowed some sadness and discouragement in that should not have had any place at all. I know that my spirit is always joyful. I'm always happy and I know all things in my spirit. I guess part of what I need to be meditating on is that I am really who I am in my spirit, not this body. I need a revelation that I am my spirit and not my flesh. I think that's what's missing.

Wow, I can see some differences in how I need to think....

Friday, October 08, 2010

Tic-Tac-Toe, Joshua style

video

I got nothing really...

I really woulda' like it if today had been a school day. It's funny how things are flip-flopped. When I was at Collin County, I really didn't wanna go in. But if that had been the case, I wouldn't have gotten to give blood this morning. I think they think I'm strange because I never really want the t-shirt. I would rather have something else - pretty much anything else besides a t-shirt. I think we have about 8 of them floating around here. It's nothing to see anybody who lives here pop up with a Carter Blood t-shirt on. Even down to Josh - he sleeps in them.

Have I mentioned lately that God is good? He is. All the time. He's amazing. From our circumstances, right now, it doesn't look like it, but oh, He is. And we're fine. Actually, better than fine. I am blessed and highly favored of the Lord. When you really think about it...wow. It doesn't get any better than that.

Josh is napping. He's getting so big. I know I'm not so great at getting pictures on here. I'll see what I can find for the end of this one since it's been a while since I've posted any. I'll just do a picture post after this one. I've got a cute little video I just found that can have it's own post.

Thursday, October 07, 2010

some quotes...

"Just because you start with 'our Father' and end with 'amen', doesn't mean you contacted the Father." - Andrew Wommack

"The more you talk is an indication of how little you believe." - Andrew Wommack

"If God knows our need before we ask it, why do we spend so much time informing God of our situation?" - Andrew Wommack

"If you're not meditating on the Word of God, you're meditating on something else. Everybody meditates." - Andrew Wommack

"If you start with the wrong assumption, you'll end with the wrong conclusion." - Wendell Parr

"For God to judge America, He'd have to apologize to Jesus." - Andrew Wommack

"If you become offended, the Word of God has been stolen from your heart." - Andrew Wommack

"Jesus is the maximum revelation of God. There are no more mysteries - you simply need to look to Jesus. Anything out of character for Jesus would be out of character for the Father. Jesus is who you need to understand the Father." - Barry Bennett

"Just because the Lord inspired the writing does not mean it's a revelation of His character." - Barry Bennett

"Sinners have to work very hard to make themselves accepted. What's normal is easy to accept. You have to be convinced by lies bombarded to accept abnormal." - Barry Bennett

"There has been emphasis on worshipping the Holy Spirit. When in fact, the Holy Spirit does his job, which is to teach us, guide us into all truth, and point to Jesus. We should be glorifying Jesus." - Barry Bennett

"A testimony is a victory you have in your life. If you're not walking in victory, something's wrong." - Ed Devine

"Christianity is the only war you'll ever win by surrender." - Ed Devine

"God will never bring anything into your life that will cause you to fail, but he will bring you to a point where you will discover what's really on the inside of you." - Wendell Parr

"It only takes one good day to rewrite your past." - Ed Devine

"Usually the reason somebody comes to you and asks for prayer is because they feel inadequate to come into the presence of the Lord themselves." - Ed Devine

"Your heart becomes sensitive to whatever you ponder on." - Ed Devine

"Grace and holiness are like breathing in and out. When you breathe grace in, holiness will follow out." - Jim Ertel

"Whatever you gain through compromise, you'll lose in the end." - Jim Ertel

"Most people know more about junk and unbelief than about the simple laws of faith and then wonder why they don't see any results." - Andrew Wommack

"If you don't act in agreement with what you're believing, your faith is dead." - Andrew Wommack

"When Moses tried to kill an Egyptian on his own, it backfired. When he did it God's way, he buried the entire Egyptian army." - Wendell Parr

"God has a plan for our lives, but he won't hunt us down and make us follow his orders." - Wendell Parr

"God has created us with the ability to choose, but he won't force our choice." - Wendell Parr

"God's best is to get you to a place where His Word is sufficient." - Andrew Wommack

"We don't see Biblical results because we don't wanna do Biblical things." - Wendell Parr

"It is an ungodly attitude to not want God to proser you. Prosperity is not for you. For you to be a blessing, you must first be blessed. If you aren't able to help those who need it, you aren't prosperous. Your prosperity isn't defined by what you have, but what you can give." - Andrew Wommack

"We don't do things to be holy, but because we are created holy, we do things." - Wendell Parr

"It is impossible to boldy claim a promise of God that you're not confident in." - Ed Devine

"God never loses!" - Lawson Perdue

"We have as much right to healing as we do forgiveness because Jesus purchased it. We ought to fight sickness like we fight sin because it comes from the same source." - Lawson Perdue

"Religious people of His day doubted His power to forgive sins. Religious people of our day doubt His power to heal the sick." - Lawson Perdue

"You can't be tempted with something you don't think. Stop temptation by quitting thinking of things that bring temptation." - Andrew Wommack

"When Jesus was baptized, He was identifying with humanity. When we are baptized, we are identifying with Jesus." - Lawson Perdue

"The only way you can lose in the Kingdom of God is to quit believing." - Lawson Perdue

"If God ever asks for a sacrifice of something, it either needs to be sacrificed or it's a stepping stone to something greater." - Andrew Wommack

"If God makes it easy, who are you to make it hard?" - Joseph Prince

"Healing and prosperity are not bigger than salvation." - Joseph Prince

"The love of God paid the justice of God...He is the full payment." - Joseph Prince

"You live up to the view that you have of yourself." - Greg Fritz

"If your life isn't awesome, it's because of you." - Andrew Wommack

"If you thought more about others than you do yourself, you wouldn't even notice when they do you wrong." - Andrew Wommack