Thursday, December 30, 2010

I could call this...

my once a month blog. That's about how often I think of it. To be fair, though, I have another one. :-) I'm not advertising it, though. It's kinda' where I put the good, bad and ugly of everything. I actually have another one too, but can't remember how to sign in or get to it. Brilliant, huh? So I started the secret one mentioned above.

It's not that I have a whole lot of readers or anything, but that's ok.

Saturday, December 04, 2010

It's been a while...

Probably because I don't know what to write about. Well, I could, but I refuse to give vent and root to some of the thoughts that pop in my head.

We are still not working. It's frustrating, but not scary. I don't know how it's all going to work out, but I know God does. Sometimes I really wanna hurry Him up, but I know He's always on time.

I have some new revelations about the Kingdom of God. Amazing stuff. Amazing Kingdom. I understand that there is always opposition when a Kingdom is being turned over. And that's exactly what we're doing. We're exchanging the ways of this world's kingdom for God's kingdom. Not an easy process.

Saturday, November 06, 2010

Spirit, Soul and Body

I love this!

Our being consists of three parts. We have a spirit, soul and body.

The body is obvious. The soul is that part that is made up of our emotions and feelings. The spirit is the part of us that will live forever.

Upon our salvation, the spirit is sealed and made perfect like Jesus. Our soul has to be renewed to line up with the spirit and our body follows suite. The body is actually amoral and goes where it's told. If you don't renew your mind in the word to line up with your spirit, you will be double-minded.

The Bible is actually a mirror of what we have in our spirit. As we read the Bible, we can see what is already in us. We who are sealed, have raising from the dead power inside of us. That's amazing!

This is just a simple nutshell breakdown. There is soooo much more!

Tuesday, November 02, 2010

I am fighting the urge to call somebody and vent. I know it is not what I need to do. Im so tired of this time. So tired...

Friday, October 29, 2010

again

I'm back in that place where I'm trying not to worry. I hate this feeling. I know it's a feeling, but I hate it. I need it in perspective. I do not want pity or sympathy, I just want to be done with this. I do not want to go around and around this stupid mountain. I want to get the picture and get it correctly the first time. This sucks.

I am reminded of the promise that we are more than overcomers. We have to have something to overcome to be more than overcomers, right? Well, I'm there - with something to overcome. I know that we are victorious. I know it, but the circumstances don't look at all that way. Bleh, bleh, bleh.

Monday, October 25, 2010

Full circle

I need sleep! I cannot believe how Joshua is NOT sleeping! This is ridiculous...

Thursday, October 21, 2010

???

I've got so many things running around in my head that it's just almost silly. Hodge Podge would be a good alternative title for this one.


Josh has been saying he wants to drive the green car. He insists. The conversation usually goes that he wants to drive. He gets asked how old he needs to be to drive and he answers 16. Then he gets asked how old he is and he answers 3. Then he goes on to say how he wants 3 to drive. And he doesn't wanna be 3, he wants to be 16. And then he is 16. And he needs to take off his seat belt so he can drive. He's a good driver. And a good faster driver. And Mommy's not a good faster driver cuz people pass me sometimes. Every.Single.Day.


Anyway, on the way home from the babysitter's yesterday, we went through our conversation a couple of times and it dawned on me that we do this exact same thing to God. We wanna drive. Nevermind that we're 3 and we need to be 16. Nevermind that there's a permit time involved. Nevermind that we don't know the first thing about it except that there's a steering wheel and that we can be faster. Thank you, God, that you have me in a five-point harness in the back seat. That is definitely the safest place for me.


On to other things...

So, I know all the verses and passages about not worrying and all. I really do and I really don't have too much of a problem most of the time. I'm just not gonna go any further with that one.


And other things...

We had to do 5 minute talks this week at school. Scary. But God really worked a number on me. They dropped the 5 min. talk bomb on Monday. It's a "be ready in season and out" kinda' thing. It's supposed to be a surprise. I dodged it pretty hard. And joked about how I was gonna have a coronary. It's really something pretty close to a coronary, I think, when somebody tells me to get in front of a group of people and talk. I can talk from my desk just fine, thank you. I like it even, when it's spontaneous, or a question I need to ask. I just don't wanna stand in front of anybody in any type of a formal type of situation and talk. I mean, who wants to listen to anything I might have to say? They thankfully didn't make it to me on Monday, and I didn't look at the schedule for the rest of the week to see when the next time would be. It's not that I wanted to be surprised, I just didn't think of it.

I love how the Holy Spirit corrects me so lovingly. There is truly no condemnation coming from Him at all. But he doesn't pull any punches either. He showed me that one day in the future, I would be ministering to women. Like in a speaking engagement kind of way. I didn't question it or really think it was silly at all while he was showing it to me. I just accepted it as a gift of Him showing me something to come.

All of a sudden, He put the two together. How can you speak in front of a group of women if you can't speak in front of your brethren? What makes you think that the revelations I give you are for you alone? You are blessed with these revelations to be a blessing to others. What I give you, I give you to share. You're being a bit prideful in keeping yourself to yourself with the things I give you because you are more worried about what other people think of you than what I've given you as a gift to give to others.

Introvertedness is pride. I may have put that on here before somewhere, but it bears repeating. Any time I consider my own opinion of myself above what the Lord says of me, it's pride. Even if that opinion is low instead of the common idea of pride being lofty. Just because I think I'm not interesting or have anything to say doesn't mean that I get to choose to not share what He's given me. It's all about Him anyway, right?

Well, I made it through it without a coronary. And my topic of discussion? I talked about talking in front of people and the work the Lord did in me while I was dodging the situation. Oh, and God's sense of humor...I was dodging the talk in front of one class of about 15 students, so on Wednesday when I did my 5 minutes, the other class combined with ours and added another 8 or so people.

So many things to learn...

Friday, October 15, 2010

Ummm

I really wanna just type, but I need to be careful.

Today I have let my emotions take some control. It is not ok. I know who I am in Jesus and I can't let the cares of this world cloud out that understanding. No matter what things look like, I'm an overcomer. I'm the head and not the tail, the beginning and not the end. I'm blessed and highly favored of the Lord. God loves me as much as He loves Jesus.

I know I've typed all those things on here before, but I'm kinda' having a time of it today.

I allowed some sadness and discouragement in that should not have had any place at all. I know that my spirit is always joyful. I'm always happy and I know all things in my spirit. I guess part of what I need to be meditating on is that I am really who I am in my spirit, not this body. I need a revelation that I am my spirit and not my flesh. I think that's what's missing.

Wow, I can see some differences in how I need to think....

Friday, October 08, 2010

Tic-Tac-Toe, Joshua style

video

I got nothing really...

I really woulda' like it if today had been a school day. It's funny how things are flip-flopped. When I was at Collin County, I really didn't wanna go in. But if that had been the case, I wouldn't have gotten to give blood this morning. I think they think I'm strange because I never really want the t-shirt. I would rather have something else - pretty much anything else besides a t-shirt. I think we have about 8 of them floating around here. It's nothing to see anybody who lives here pop up with a Carter Blood t-shirt on. Even down to Josh - he sleeps in them.

Have I mentioned lately that God is good? He is. All the time. He's amazing. From our circumstances, right now, it doesn't look like it, but oh, He is. And we're fine. Actually, better than fine. I am blessed and highly favored of the Lord. When you really think about it...wow. It doesn't get any better than that.

Josh is napping. He's getting so big. I know I'm not so great at getting pictures on here. I'll see what I can find for the end of this one since it's been a while since I've posted any. I'll just do a picture post after this one. I've got a cute little video I just found that can have it's own post.

Thursday, October 07, 2010

some quotes...

"Just because you start with 'our Father' and end with 'amen', doesn't mean you contacted the Father." - Andrew Wommack

"The more you talk is an indication of how little you believe." - Andrew Wommack

"If God knows our need before we ask it, why do we spend so much time informing God of our situation?" - Andrew Wommack

"If you're not meditating on the Word of God, you're meditating on something else. Everybody meditates." - Andrew Wommack

"If you start with the wrong assumption, you'll end with the wrong conclusion." - Wendell Parr

"For God to judge America, He'd have to apologize to Jesus." - Andrew Wommack

"If you become offended, the Word of God has been stolen from your heart." - Andrew Wommack

"Jesus is the maximum revelation of God. There are no more mysteries - you simply need to look to Jesus. Anything out of character for Jesus would be out of character for the Father. Jesus is who you need to understand the Father." - Barry Bennett

"Just because the Lord inspired the writing does not mean it's a revelation of His character." - Barry Bennett

"Sinners have to work very hard to make themselves accepted. What's normal is easy to accept. You have to be convinced by lies bombarded to accept abnormal." - Barry Bennett

"There has been emphasis on worshipping the Holy Spirit. When in fact, the Holy Spirit does his job, which is to teach us, guide us into all truth, and point to Jesus. We should be glorifying Jesus." - Barry Bennett

"A testimony is a victory you have in your life. If you're not walking in victory, something's wrong." - Ed Devine

"Christianity is the only war you'll ever win by surrender." - Ed Devine

"God will never bring anything into your life that will cause you to fail, but he will bring you to a point where you will discover what's really on the inside of you." - Wendell Parr

"It only takes one good day to rewrite your past." - Ed Devine

"Usually the reason somebody comes to you and asks for prayer is because they feel inadequate to come into the presence of the Lord themselves." - Ed Devine

"Your heart becomes sensitive to whatever you ponder on." - Ed Devine

"Grace and holiness are like breathing in and out. When you breathe grace in, holiness will follow out." - Jim Ertel

"Whatever you gain through compromise, you'll lose in the end." - Jim Ertel

"Most people know more about junk and unbelief than about the simple laws of faith and then wonder why they don't see any results." - Andrew Wommack

"If you don't act in agreement with what you're believing, your faith is dead." - Andrew Wommack

"When Moses tried to kill an Egyptian on his own, it backfired. When he did it God's way, he buried the entire Egyptian army." - Wendell Parr

"God has a plan for our lives, but he won't hunt us down and make us follow his orders." - Wendell Parr

"God has created us with the ability to choose, but he won't force our choice." - Wendell Parr

"God's best is to get you to a place where His Word is sufficient." - Andrew Wommack

"We don't see Biblical results because we don't wanna do Biblical things." - Wendell Parr

"It is an ungodly attitude to not want God to proser you. Prosperity is not for you. For you to be a blessing, you must first be blessed. If you aren't able to help those who need it, you aren't prosperous. Your prosperity isn't defined by what you have, but what you can give." - Andrew Wommack

"We don't do things to be holy, but because we are created holy, we do things." - Wendell Parr

"It is impossible to boldy claim a promise of God that you're not confident in." - Ed Devine

"God never loses!" - Lawson Perdue

"We have as much right to healing as we do forgiveness because Jesus purchased it. We ought to fight sickness like we fight sin because it comes from the same source." - Lawson Perdue

"Religious people of His day doubted His power to forgive sins. Religious people of our day doubt His power to heal the sick." - Lawson Perdue

"You can't be tempted with something you don't think. Stop temptation by quitting thinking of things that bring temptation." - Andrew Wommack

"When Jesus was baptized, He was identifying with humanity. When we are baptized, we are identifying with Jesus." - Lawson Perdue

"The only way you can lose in the Kingdom of God is to quit believing." - Lawson Perdue

"If God ever asks for a sacrifice of something, it either needs to be sacrificed or it's a stepping stone to something greater." - Andrew Wommack

"If God makes it easy, who are you to make it hard?" - Joseph Prince

"Healing and prosperity are not bigger than salvation." - Joseph Prince

"The love of God paid the justice of God...He is the full payment." - Joseph Prince

"You live up to the view that you have of yourself." - Greg Fritz

"If your life isn't awesome, it's because of you." - Andrew Wommack

"If you thought more about others than you do yourself, you wouldn't even notice when they do you wrong." - Andrew Wommack

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

School

I had a nice long post about last Thursday all written up and saved to finish. I just now decided that I didn't wanna do that.

There is no way to express all the works that the Lord is doing on the inside of me. It has nothing to do with feelings, although the feelings feel good. It has everything to do with revelation of who He is and His love for me. It really all boils down to that.

I've heard the school referred to as a "greenhouse" of sorts. I can see that. It's definitely an awesome environment that fosters major growth. I love our class. We are getting to know people and it feels more and more like family.

God has been showing us so much! We are definitely at the end of ourselves and He's been coming through. He's been allowing people the opportunity to gift money to us. We've had everything we've needed. I know there's still a miracle on our horizon that's coming. I'm not concerned - He's proven Himself faithful on every level.

We've had so many lessons...my head is spinning and we're only in our fourth week. The relationships and truths being built and grown here are beyond belief.

I'm so blessed! Blessed and highly favored of the Lord, to be exact.

Praise God through whom all blessings flow.

I would love to put my notes here, but I don't think I could get them all out. We go through enough material for a full Sunday sermon in about 10 minutes of each lesson. And we have 3-4 lessons per day that are 50 minutes in length.

When asked what we've learned for the day, all I can do is shake my head. There's no way to express it - you can only experience it.

Sunday, September 19, 2010

Do you ever

feel chastised by your electronic devices? Seriously. The stupid (well, I guess not so stupid) printer was not powering up. We've had the power go off a couple of times in the last few days, so I thought there might be something up. I pushed all the normal buttons, like "OK" and "power"...all the ones that would normally initiate something. Nothing. So, I pulled the plug and plugged it back in. Still, nothing. So, I pulled the plug from the printer itself and when I plugged it back in, it came on. It came on with a message, though about how it is unsafe to use the plug as a power up and down switch. What? I felt like I had really just ticked off the printer and it was trying to politely tell me.

Another thing about this printer - I believe it will outlive me. It does "device maintenance" more than I maintain myself. Somebody at our printer manufacturer's office is enjoying the fact that they made these to maintain and chastise to the point of driving somebody nuts.

Saturday, September 18, 2010

Joshua lied

We had a first today.

Joshua has been having some difficulties...um...aiming...in the restroom. He tends to not pay attention, not pull his underwear down and then pees on the floor and wall. He always comes and tells me and usually he gets in trouble because he knows what is going on. He knows to pay attention, pull his underwear all the way down and "pee in the water".

This morning, he came out of the bathroom and told me that "ummm....Mommy....ummmm....Jacob peed on the wall". Not exactly the truth. And he did get a spanking, followed by a 3 year old level of discussion on lying. He got it. I know it won't be the last time, but he got it today.

In other news, school is still amazing. I am falling head over heels in love with the Word of God.

In still other news, Wayne Keith Terry III "Trey" is here! He was born at 2:54 yesterday afternoon. Julie did great! Keith did great! And Trey is really sweet. Trace was sooo happy with him. I'm honored to have been able to come see him before he was even 30 minutes old. He's gorgeous!

Monday, September 13, 2010

my heart

I wish I could take a snapshot of my heart now and in two years from now. They won't be recognizable as the same thing. It's amazing. Really. I would love to be able to convey the work being done on the inside of me.

Thursday, September 09, 2010

What a day!

I love school!

I have tried to type the next line over and over and it never comes out just right. Seriously, I've deleted a line about 10 times. I don't know what to say, but wanna say it all in one long breath!

I feel like I simply cannot contain all that God is pouring in. But it's such an amazingly good feeling! I'm feeling a bit like a junkie. I've got so much to do around our house and all I really wanna do is read Job and 2 Peter. Too funny.

We had 3 lessons today. The first one was Barry Bennett (I think that's his name). The second was Andrew and the third was Lawson Perdue. Barry Bennett is awesome and I loved his lesson. We actually watched him online just before school started, so were really excited that they've added him to the teachings.

Such good stuff!

And God showed us what's missing. We've been praying about it. Specifically for him to teach us - give us knowledge of how to release the blessings and provision that he's given us. It's quite simple, really, but we've missed it all along. We have had the word from God in our hearts about Charis and that he would provide for us once we were here. We've mixed it with faith and actions. But we never released that power in our lives by speaking it. We've got it now, though. And we will continue to seek the Lord and speak it.

Wednesday, September 08, 2010

Charis Bible College

Well, today was day 2. I'm really loving it, even though we really haven't done very much. There is a feeling of family just as soon as you're there for 5 minutes. Everybody says it will be that way for the rest of our lives. I believe it. I know we're making friends that we'll have forever.

Yesterday we went through a bunch of administrative stuff. Today we did a little bit of admin stuff and then had two lessons. The first was taught by Andrew and it was on prayer. Specifically, a better way to pray. The second one was a survey of the Old Testament. Wendell Parr was the teacher. At least I think that was his name. He went through most of the books of the Old Testament and showed how there are types and shadows of Jesus through-out.

I know the Lord told us to be here. And I know he told us to do it the way we are. I also know His provision is here somewhere, we just haven't seen it yet. We have an appointment to talk to the Director about our financials. Wow, have we got financial stuff to talk about. We're waiting on God. We don't know what else to do.

Friday, September 03, 2010

Joshua's Pull-ups

Joshua has reached the age where he's no longer needing night time diapers. We've moved on to night time pullups.

I went to Target two nights ago and bought, for the first time, a pack of night time pullups, size 3t-4t. I came home and at bedtime opened them up. We were surprised to find the beautiful Disney princesses on them. And the pink. Man, are they pink. I thought it was pretty funny, so of course, I facebooked it.

Well, I put one on him because they were already opened and he had to wear something to bed. Plus, I figured, there's only one package and then they'll be gone. And nobody will see them unless they look in his pajamas. For kicks, though, I sent Josh in to the bathroom to "show Daddy his butt".

David took one look at them and said, "Well, that's just not right". I thought that was hilarious.

This morning, my sweet boy got out of the bed and came to our room to find me. Every morning he does this and announces that he's wet. I always ask him if his pajamas are wet. His answer this morning was, "No, I just peed on the princess".

It was really funny.

Monday, August 30, 2010

One week from today...

I'll be a Charis Bible College student! We're really, really excited.

Lots of changes on the horizon.

David's resigning from the police department today. Surprisingly, I'm not afraid at all. I know we'll be alright. There's alot that is going to have to happen this week, but it's all going to work out.

We went to Charis' kick-off party yesterday. Soooo cool to meet a few of our classmates. I felt like we were heading out to meet our new family.

There are so many like-minded people there. It's amazing.

We met with one of our pastors, Jeff, this past Saturday evening. It was good to get Godly counsel and some validation from him. He said he does not think we're crazy. It was so good to hear that because we've heard from so many family that we are. They'll see...

We have a couple of leads on some income for David.

Monday, August 23, 2010

Crippled Christians

I was just reading a blog about a set of quads that I follow. They are amazing, beautiful boys and I enjoy reading about them. Their Mom writes a chronicle of their daily lives and previously wrote of their journey with infertility. I had not read them all, so was spending some time this morning going through some older posts. At one of the older posts, she had a link to their old blog before it got too big for blogger to handle and they moved it all to wordpress.

Anyway, it had a link to their church. I followed the link and started reading their statement of belief. Everything was all good until they got to the parts on the ministry of the Holy Spirit. They believe that the gifts of speaking in tongues, the working of sign miracles and healing in the first century church were temporary sign gifts and are not for the church today.

That is so very sad. In my mind, I saw a stick figure walking with a cane. I realized that it was the picture of a crippled Christian. That's how the Christian without the Holy Spirit lives. They are in the race, but they are never able to run. They will always be tired. They are saved, yes, but well, crippled.

The ministry of the Holy Spirit in our lives as Believers is critical. I cannot imagine trying to run this race with a cane.

Thursday, August 19, 2010

Some things...

are really hard to blog about.

I am learning so very much right now. I don't like putting some of the things on here because they sound "proud", but sometimes being prideful is not putting things because I'm more worried about what people think than posting the truth. Maybe that makes sense. I should be saying whatever God says no matter how that makes me look.

I've learned that humble people state things like they are, they tell the truth, no matter what people think. It's like asking a room full of people who the best person for a certain job would be. Would I really raise my hand if I thought it was me? I don't know, because I would be worried about what people would think.

Also, extreme shyness is prideful. Sounds crazy, huh? It's true. Think about it. Shyness is just another form of esteeming other people's opinions higher than your own. If you worry so much about what somebody thinks of you that you just won't talk or interact, that's a form of pride.

We should be so in love with the Lord that we believe and speak whatever he says about ourselves.

That being said...

I am a child of the King of Kings! I am blessed beyond measure. He will supply all my needs according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus. I am the head and not the tail. I am redeemed. He loves me as much as He loves Jesus! I am 1/3 wall-to-wall Holy Spirit. My spirit is sealed, perfect and without blemish.

We are in an exciting place. Exciting.

Saturday, August 07, 2010

Wow! We received our conscience when man ate of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. God didn't create us with one! Lots of people blame the Holy Spirit for making us feel guilty and condemned. He doesn't do that. We do that to ourselves. We are no longer under sin or law, so he won't make us feel guilty or condemned. I cannot WAIT to start Bible School!!!

Thursday, August 05, 2010

And then there's now...

Now is good! We still have all the bills I talked about in the last post, which I really wrote this morning, but hadn't posted it yet.

We did go to our meeting at the Bible College. It was fantastic! God's going to work this out and it's going to be lots of fun to see Him do it. I can't wait!

Right now I'm selling a bunch of stuff on Craigslist to get some cash flow going. I'm thankful for stuff to sell!

Kinda a rough spot...

We've been learning so much about walking in the Lord's blessing. I haven't blogged much about it, but right now is an amazing journey for us. We are just coming off of Jubilee time with our church where we've learned and grown so very much. We have not understood the "walking in His blessing" principle, so have found ourselves in a place where we seriously need a miracle. Our mortgage is due. David's child support is due. We are negative in the bank account. Tomorrow he gets paid, but it won't be enough even to cover both. And all the other bills are coming up too. The air conditioner is out on the car, and this is the hottest week of the year so far. David's work changed their dress code and he only has like 3 shirts he can even wear. AHHHHHHH!!!! I'm really trying. I'm really trying not to stress about it. I'm doing well with it most of the time. I've felt to this point, though, like I've been carrying this by myself. David's head's been in a cloud for weeks about everything. We're moving forward to go to Bible school. I want that so very much and know that it's been promised to us. We don't even have the gas for me to drive down there today to do our tour and turn in our applications. He's not happy about that.

On a different page altogether...Jacob's quitting football. And he's so very good at it. He had a hard time with the decision. I don't fault him at all because it's a controversial subject at our house anyway. His back is not in great shape. He's hurt it yet again and doesn't want to go through life that way. I have no problem with that. I don't want him to go through life that way either. He was worried about being an outcast. And made comments about kids getting bolts in their knees just so they could play. Oh, my sweet son, I do know where you're at. I was raised in a small town where football was the religion, not just a sport. And I wasn't a 6'3, 235 lb boy in the 9th grade. I can imagine the magnification of the "outcast" status for him. I've told him I'll take him to the doctor so he can have a medical reason and not just the personal preference. Now I need to decide which doctor would agree with me...

I know there's changes on our horizon. I know this because God promises us we can walk in His blessing if we simply cooperate with it. We are learning how to cooperate. It's not easy, but we'll get there. I fully intend to keep my hand to a plow, not look back and we will see those changes. The seeds been planted, it's sprouted and growing. We're watering them. It's just a matter of time and staying the course before we see the fruits of it all. Did I mention David has to have his knee scoped out on Monday? Fun times...

Tuesday, August 03, 2010

ewwww....

foul - /faʊl/ Show Spelled [foul] Show IPA adjective, -er, -est, adverb, noun, verb
–adjective
1.
grossly offensive to the senses; disgustingly loathsome; noisome: a foul smell.
2.
containing or characterized by offensive or noisome matter: foul air; foul stagnant water.

That about sums up what it is like when the boys come home during and after football 2-a-days. I have never smelled anything like that...they are seriously, seriously gross!

And then Jacob was describing the locker room to me....where there are like 40 of them - all in the same place! He said the floor is indescribable. Oh, my poor germiphobe son. I totally understand why you don't want the coaches to wash your workout clothes with all the other kids'. I completely get why you want to walk home in the blistering August sun to lay out on the tile floor in your own home. I won't complain about the sweat you are leaving on the floor. I know you can't help being so gross. I, as your mother, "get" you and your quirks.

I will not complain when these practices are over with. Blech.

Sunday, August 01, 2010

Things are changing....

God is really revealing himself to me. I love it. I am so excited about it all of the time. I just don't understand why nobody else is getting all worked up. I mean, my husband and Dena, along with some people in our church, but just in general. I get so focused on Him and excited about what He's doing that I will absently just assume everybody else has to see the changes in everything too. Of course, it's my perception that has changed, not everybody else. I know that, but for a little bit at times, I'll forget that and just think everybody should see it.

Today he showed me that we have not been walking in His blessing. There is a difference in blessings and miracles. A miracle is by-product of sin. If we didn't get ourselves into a crisis, we wouldn't need miracles. People who see lots of miracles live crisis to crisis. Humph. We do need a few miracles right now, and we will see them. As we learn to understand His will, we will walk in His blessings and not need the miracles. That sounds so good! We have always had 'just what we need', but 'just what we need' is not walking in His blessing.

We started filling out our forms for Charis Bible College today. I'm so excited I'm about ready to pop.

God showed me that we need to head in the direction He is sending us and His provision is already there. Just like Elijah with the ravens, He will send the provision to our destination, not where we are sitting stagnant.

By renewing my mind and delighting in the Lord, my fear of the unknown is leaving. I'm standing on promises that He will deliver what He has conceived and brought forward. I've traded worry for excitement. I can't wait to see what God is going to do next!

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

About a week ago:

Me: It will take something like Andrew Wommack himself telling me directly to go to Charis Bible College for me to be sure it's from God. I mean, I know God can work out all the details. Provision is no problem for Him. I just need to know for sure that we're hearing Him correctly. I need to make sure it's not me from an emotional standpoint wanting to go.
David: Well, you never know what God will do...
Me: I know we're going to get answers during Jubilee week. I just know it. God's going to show us so much there. It's going to be great!

Tonight at Jubilee:

We were walking behind the staircase to go pick up Joshua when David pointed Andrew out to me. We went to talk to him. It surprised me that there wasn't a line or anybody really. We just walked right up.

Me: Hi, I just wanted to introduce myself and tell you that you go to the gym with me everyday (hehe).
Andrew: Well, I really hope it does me some good.
Me: I'm Katie.
David: Hi, I'm David, I'm her husband. We only really heard about you a year ago, but God's used your ministry to really impact and change our lives.
Andrew: Where are ya'll from?
Me: Melissa, down by McKinney
Andrew: (nods head)
Me: We've actually been praying about going to Charis.
Andrew: Well, what's to pray about?
Me: (Looking rather blankly at him...)
Andrew: If you have the desire to go, God put it there. Go. The devil's not gonna tell you to go to Bible College. Really. I promise you'll like it.

I don't remember what was said after that...but that sounds like confirmation to me. We're about to have some major life changes!

(I never thought there'd be an opportunity to talk to him - I figured it would be just way to busy and he wasn't even supposed to be there until tomorrow night anyway, so...)

Sunday, July 25, 2010

Jubilee Week

Jubilee week starts today!

I love our new church! I cannot wait to be a part of this exciting experience. I truly want my heart to just be in a thankful place entering into this week. God is amazing. He is. I've always known this, but these past few weeks, it's a whole new level. The really cool part is that there's always a whole new level with Him?

Saturday, July 24, 2010

"You cant find the beginning of God until you get to the end of yourself."~~Andrew Wommack

Thursday, July 15, 2010

I don't really have a title for this one

Or really anything to say.

Joshua is snuggled up next to me watching Maisy on tv. He's so stinkin' sweet. I just adore him.

Cody and Emily came home from their mom's this past weekend. Emily is sleeping and Cody and Jacob are at the youth pastor's house after an all-nighter. I believe those people should be nominated for saint-hood. I cannot for the life of me imagine what their house must look like. I mean, they had the equivalent to a slumber party there. There are at least 6 teenage guys who slept over. Usually when that happens, they're up til 4 am or so playing video games and eating anything not tied down. They are saints, I tell you. Saints.

I'm supposed to be at the gym at 9 to meet my new friend, Michelle, and work out. I'm really excited to have met her and have somebody to hang with. We went to the aquafit class yesterday and she said she wasn't really impressed. I like the core workout you get in there, but I know it's not the only thing I need to be doing. I'm so thankful to my sweet husband for helping me to get going on everything.

We're really excited about our new church. We love it!

Monday, July 05, 2010

The Truth Shall Set You Free!!!

I was just listening to Andrew Wommack's series called 'Killing Sacred Cows' when I was given a revelation of the meaning of the Truth setting me free. Andrew was talking about sin.

He talked about extreme Pentecostals who believe that you can lose your salvation if you don't have every sin covered by the Blood of Christ. They believe that you have to continually ask for forgiveness of your sins or if you die you'll go to hell. That's just not true. He then talked about people who are one step below that (me) who believe that you won't lose your salvation, but will lose your communion with God. He'll love you and save you, but He won't talk to you or bless you. You, in effect, step out from under His covering. Both beliefs teach performance-based salvation, and are just not true.

Jesus died once and paid for all the sin of the world. Everything. At the Cross. One time. That's it. Sins committed up to the point that you accept salvation and sins committed in your future. The only sin that sends anybody to hell is rejection of His Son. If you don't accept that atonement, that one-time, atonement...that's what sends people to hell.

Once understanding of what he was talking about hit me, I heard the Holy Spirit remind me of that scripture about Truth setting me free and honestly, I feel set free. A literal weight has been removed. Chains have been unbound. I feel FREE!!! Note to self: send Andrew Wommack some fan email.

Now, there are those who would say that people believe this way so that they can do whatever they want. What will cause a person to keep serving God and want to walk a Christian life? Love. Plain and simple. If you are sold out in love with God, you will desire to serve Him. After all, Jesus said, "If you love me, obey my commandments" (John 14:15, NLT).

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

It's naptime and he's not sleeping....


I'm guessing these guys are the reason. I just confiscated them about 10 minutes ago and it's amazing how quiet he is now.


Sunday, June 13, 2010

You are a toy!!!


You're not the real Buzz Lightyear! You're an action figure!

Saturday, June 12, 2010

Monday, May 31, 2010

It's been like 18 years since I've posted any pictures.







That's not alot, but they sure are cute. I think the last one looks like a Jedi in training or something...



Thursday, May 20, 2010

Prayer is not just an exercize in sympathy, it connects the Creator to His creation.

Monday, May 10, 2010

Every time I start to think I wanna get a job and go to work, my sweet Joshua points out the cute birds at Walmart, or tells me I'm so cute, or simply smiles sweetly at me, or.....

Sunday, May 09, 2010

I have some thoughts...

Let's see if I can make them sound like they think in my head.

Sometimes I think about how crazy people must feel. Like, how they really think that their imagined realities are real. And I've had the thought before that what if I'm crazy? What if this is not really real and I'm really lying somewhere in a looney bin imagining my life? I know that is really crazy thinking, but what if?

Now, I really don't really think that. I more like imagine that is what it is like to be crazy.

I ponder this sometimes.

Also sometimes, I'll be just bee-bopping right along with my life and suddenly feel like everything is surreal. Like, how can this all be real? Like it's more like a holodeck from Star Trek. Like our reality is really just a scene on a spaceship somewhere. But we have no clue. Us, the people on the holodeck, playing the parts, we have no clue we're playing parts. It's all real to us, when in reality, there's a really much bigger real life going on in the rest of the ship - there's a full-on war!

I pondered this holodeck idea the other day. I was driving home from somewhere, can't remember where now, and was just almost home. I seem to remember the droning of voices of one of our kids, but who knows (that's my real reality, right? hehe). Anyway, I was stopped at a stop sign and just sat there a minute and thought about it. We really kinda' are on a holodeck. We get so wrapped up in the reality in front of us that we don't think about the ship we're on. We don't think about the whole war going on outside our little deck, and that we are crucial in the battle. We forget that there is a veil of the physical that keeps us from seeing the spiritual. We forget that there's a whole world of people out there who don't even realize we live on a holodeck. They think the holodeck is the real reality.

Sounds crazy, huh?

Wednesday, May 05, 2010

My sweet husband

had a dislocated knee cap last week on Thursday. It hurt. This means he'll be washing back at least one class in the police academy. I hate it for him, but those are the breaks...

Friday, April 16, 2010

Way, way, way, waaaay better...

why won't blogger let me put italics in the title line? i think other people do it...maybe not. now i'm not so sure.

things are so much better than my last post. cody has been so respectful and easy to be around.

jake's been playing baseball. these kids have been playing together for several years and the coaches know them all. i feel like jacob is the outsider and isn't treated the same. i keep my thoughts on that to myself, though, because i know it's hard enough coming to a new school like this one. this school is so similar to celina when i was a kid. it is exactly how i grew up and i saw new kids come and go all along. some stayed and some left. when i was a kid, it wasn't that new kids bothered us, it was that we had all been friends for so long that it was not easy to add anybody. i know it's hard for them. especially jake, even though he doesn't say much.

david forgot a belt he needs today, so i am going to take it to him at his lunch time. i know it's super scary for him to have forgotten anything because if he doesn't show up with everything, the whole class gets in trouble for it. it would not do well for him to be the reason the whole class gets in trouble. he doesn't like being put on the spot even more than i do. we're both very good at fading into the background of a group. don't get me wrong, we are social people, just don't like big groups where the attention is directed to us. we like a few friends in a familiar environment.

i kinda' forgot how much i like to blog. i like to read them and i like to write here.

oh, we joined a gym. i'm so tired of being overweight. i was going to try the aqua fit class this morning, but don't want to get in there and chance not making it to david in time with his belt. that would be really not ok.

dena and i are planning a little mini-vacation for july! port aransas! we've never been there, but wanted somewhere that was beautiful and within driving distance. so, the end of july, we'll be sitting on the beach! i don't think my husband is really excited about the whole thing, but oh, i am so ready to get somewhere where nobody needs anything from me for a couple of days. i know it's not until july, but i can wait. dena and i have taken a few trips together over the years, but none completely by ourselves. no kids. that's what a vacation really is. i love my kids and love to take them places, but when we go somewhere with kids, it's more work than staying home. i want a book and a quiet place to sit. it doesn't really even matter where we go - beach or just get a hotel room downtown in a city somewhere. doesn't matter. neither of us wants to party or anything like that, just get outta' dodge, ya know?

ok, gonna get dressed for the gym. joshua loves, loves, loves to hang out there in the kids' area. he's so cute and getting so very big!

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

just a vent

i am so frustrated right now. i don't want sympathy or pity or a pep talk. I don't want any of it.

I just whipped Cody. I spanked him first with the spanking stick and then when he smarted off again, with the belt. he is nothing but disrespectful and out of line every day. he does not show any hint of even trying. no matter what i do or when. i am so frustrated. i should have been demanding more respect instead of just letting things go. i do not understand where the disconnect is with him that he can't seem to figure out authority. he doesn't care. he doesn't care about anything but himself and how to get what he wants. i'm so tired of it all. i'm tired of being spoken to like i'm a second rate citizen in my own home. he talks down to me every day. he gives me an attitude in the simplest of conversations. and plays the victim perfectly. it's never his fault. never. he never really takes responsability for his own actions.

another subject

i had a bit of a tiff with a friend on fb. she made a comment and i pointed out how it read. she bit my head off. then emailed me to apologize for biting my head off, but certainly not what she said. i'm sure it correctly reflected her thoughts about me anyway. she has no clue.

another subject

i am so lonely right now. i see people every day, but i don't really have anybody to commune with. when david gets home at night, i'm on my feet until about 9 and that is when he goes to bed. i really need to just recharge for a day or two. mod doesn't help. i have too much to do during that time.

another subject

i have to take the stupid van in tomorrow for the a/c. i so hate dealing with stuff like that and just really wish my husband would. i know he doesn't have the time, but i hate it.

another subject

wow, this turned into quite a pity party for me. i do throw them from time to time, but usually keep them from my blog. a while back, david's ex-wife was reading it. i am not so sure if she is now or not, but i do not care. it's my blog and if she wants to read it, well, it's public, what can i say. i refuse to be all sunshine and smiley faces all the time on my personal blog.

negative, negative, negative. it's really not me to be so negative, but right now, in this moment, that is what it is. and i'm gonna post this without even re-reading it.

Thursday, April 01, 2010

Potty Training!

I came home yesterday with a brand spankin' new potty chair, a book, some stickers, big boy underwear and 400 Tootsie Roll Midgies.

At about 9:30 last night, we had success!

Score one for the potty!

He's so wanting that candy....

So, how many kids do you have?

My first response would be to say "four", but that's not really the truth. Then I backpedal and say well, "three live with me, and my stepdaughter lives with their mom in San Antonio". Then I backpedal again and say, "two of ours who live with us are mine, and one is David's". But then I feel kinda' bad because Cody's mine too, he just has a different mother. So I explain that and the fact that they have the same mom, we just have one and she has the other. Then I get the funny looks...

But then there's Anna. She's the one who throws the whole thing off. I can't answer that question honestly, no matter how much explaining I do because I feel it's right to protect my kids from knowing that part of my testimony until they are a bit more mature. I also have to be careful not to "cast my pearls before swine" as scripture puts it. I'm not ashamed of her. Oh, no, I'm proud of her. She's my daughter. I'm not proud of myself, but I'm proud of her. I'm not ashamed of myself anymore either, though. It's funny how God does that.

He takes away the shame. He replaces shame with hope. I will see her one day. She does not hold anything against me. And I still get to be her mom. No matter if she were in my arms or Jesus' arms. I'm restored, forgiven and whole. She's restored and whole. She's perfect. And I miss her.

It makes it difficult, though. I can't very easily share that part of my testimony with somebody who's grieving a loss. I can so relate to their pain, though. I spent so many hours reading blogs or message boards written by mothers who lost their babies, just to relate. It's hard to find somebody who'll share openly how they've dealt with this kind of loss.

I will. As the Spirit leads, I will. I'll let whoever needs to know that there is restoration, forgiveness and wholeness.

Abortion is ugly. It is deception. It hurts. It never goes away.

Christ is beautiful. He is Truth. He heals. He never goes away.

Sunday, March 28, 2010

I don't know where to begin...

God has been working with me and revealing himself to me in so many ways. It's unreal. But I asked him to. =)

He's shown me so much from my Esther Bible Study on Wednesday mornings. I had previously never heard of Jill Rhodes, but I love her.

I also just listened to Pastor Duane's cd called "Love is Taught, not Caught".

Combine the two of them together and there are so many truths being shown to me.

Esther is so deep. I have read it several times, and have watched the movie a couple of times, so I went in already knowing the story. I'm surprised by how many in our class didn't know much about Esther. I already loved it. I'm not knockin' them, don't think that. I was just surprised.

What strikes me the most, and I've been pondering on lately, is just how much God loves me. He loves me. In Esther, it was explained how royalty honors the common people. The highest honor a king can give somebody is relationship. God honors me with relationship. The King of Kings honors me. Wow! At the same time, I was listening to Duane talk about how much God loves us. He loves us as much as he loves Jesus. When Duane first said that, I kinda' laughed. Whatever. Jesus is perfect. But if he didn't love me as much as Jesus, wouldn't it have been a waste for Jesus to die for me? Wow! And then back to the honoring with relationship... In order for God to honor me with relationship, Jesus had to die. Wow!

I sometimes have the very wrong thoughts that I know God so well. Well, I mean, I do know God, but it's humbling to realize that if you ask him to reveal himself, he will. And it's overwhelming. What I can type here barely scratches the surface of the things he is showing me right now. I don't know Him like I will one day. I didn't know him as well yesterday as I do today. Or as well as I will tomorrow.

Romans 11:33 says, "Oh, the depth of the riches of the wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable his judgments, and his paths beyond tracing out!"

How in the world would I possibly be silly enough to think I knew God? You can't "know" somebody who's "unsearchable" and who's "paths are beyond tracing out". I can't ever completely know God while I walk the Earth as flesh. I can only know of his infiniteness what my finite mind can handle, which is not really much. Oh, but the Holy Spirit! The Holy Spirit can lead me into ALL truths!

Father, You are amazing and wonderful. Thank you. Thank you for reminding me of my humanness, while at the same time you remind me of how much you love me.

Many times, I've walked into a Sunday morning worship service and given lip service to worship. Many, many times. I've been there in the physical form, but I'll sit and fume about something my husband did to make us late, or something the kids need to be disciplined for. It's sad and embarrassing to admit it. How can I now? How can I now that I understand that he honors me with relationship. How rude can I possibly be? I am so very sorry that I have repeatedly dishonored the relationship that he's given me in that way.

Today I was looking forward to getting into worship because I just wanted to be with others who are worshipping and just to love corporately on God. Because of a new child check-in system, and nobody's fault, I was late. I only made one song. Oh, but how awesome it was! It was the worship that moves. I hunger for that.

Friday, February 26, 2010

Oh, and a baseball player and a plumber because plumbers make good money.
I found a journal entry of Jake's where he said he wanted to be a ninja superhero astronaut star fleet captain jedi mexican when he grows up. Pretty funny, and yes i was snooping through his stuff. I do it regularly to all my kids.

Friday, February 12, 2010

Joshua

My sweet little brown-eyed son.

You are so very precious to Mama.

When you look at me with your trusting eyes, I'm reminded that I am responsible to God for you.

Your Daddy and I are responsible for raising you in fear and admonition of the Lord.

We are to teach you His ways and who He is.

I'm so thankful for you.

I'm so thankful for your dimpled smile.

I'm so thankful for your blond hair.

I'm so thankful for your love of life and of "your" people.

You are so precious, my sweet little brown-eyed son.

Mama loves you.

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

More Grocery Gaming!

I love it. I love it. I love it!

Today I bought $285.83 worth of groceries for $101.49!!!

Woohoo...the rundown:

CVS:

4 cans Campbell's tomato soup
6 cans Campbell's chicken noodle soup
6 tubes Crest toothpaste
2 Covergirl compressed powder compacts

I paid $7.03 and saved $38.39!!!

Kroger:

10 jugs of Sunny Delight 64 oz.
10 6-packs of Deja Blue water
6 bottles of Disney gummy vitamins
6 packages of Hormel pepperoni

I paid $37.33 and saved $69.16!!!

Walgreens:

6 boxes of Kleenex tissues, 200 sheets
8 cans Hormel chili
4 cans Butterball chicken broth
2 containers Maxwell House coffee

I paid $20.76 and saved $25.72!!!

Tom Thumb

11 cans Progresso soup
6 boxes Pillsbury funfetti cookie dough
1 box Mike & Ikes (hehe)
4 boxes Hot Pockest, 2 count
6 boxes Red Baron personal pizzas
2 packages Sargento cheese slices

I paid $36.37 and saved $51.07!!!

Friday, January 22, 2010

I can tell when my kids stumble, and I can tell when they jump. I can tell when they love me and truly desire mercy, and when they were being malicious and are just sorry the got caught.

Thursday, January 21, 2010

Hmmm...

I wonder what the workers next door are saying...it's all in Spanish. They are all so quiet when I walk outside, but when I'm inside, they are LOUD. Do they really think I can't hear through the windows on that side of the house? I don't really care, it's just amusing. I think they need to be done bricking that house so they can get back to working inside where they'll be quiet. Tomorrow's naptime doesn't need to end up with my kid coming out of his room 15 times hollaring in Spanish.

Sunday, January 17, 2010

When ur kids turn about 9, lock them in the house with you and homeschool them. The only contact they need with the outside world is when you are with them. Therapy for social difficulties as an adult have to be better than whatever they can do to destroy their futures as a teenager. This is ridiculous!!!

Thursday, January 14, 2010

hmmm...

I am about to start or try something new.

I've always wanted to try my hand at short skits. Like in church. I've never really told many people that because I am terrified and excited about it at the same time.

I have an opportunity at church to do just that, so I'm gonna give it a shot. I'm working through the nerves involved.

The kicker is I have to write the mess myself. I'm not good at that part. Shouldn't there be like a book of skits that I can just pick one from? I mean, why write something if somebody else already has and it's good? That's what I think. But I'm gonna give it a shot.

We'll see what happens.

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

lots of stuff

This is likely to be a really long post. Or if I get tired of typing, it might not be so long....who knows?

We have moved to Melissa. We have a gorgeous new house that I am totally in love with. God has blessed us so much lately. It's amazing. Simply amazing.

I have the most precious 3 year old son ever! He had his birthday and we just went to Chick fil A for him and then came home and opened presents. It was easy and no mess.

The other kids are awesome, too. Both boys are changing schools and will be at Melissa Middle School on Tuesday for the start of the second semester of their 8th grade. Emily is in 4th and is such a young lady. She is no longer a fan of the color pink - everything is purple now.

Our church is wonderful. We're getting into the swing of everything being over here. I'm actually, maybe, probably, possibly going to be involved with the drama team. I'm scared, happy, excited, nervous, confused as to why I wanna do this, you know...and I'm NOT a writer. I can blog all day long, but not write like that. I'm supposed to have a little blurb thingy to her by Friday and I guess it's coming right along, but it's not pleasant. I haven't told her that for me to write, it's like pulling my fingernails off a little bit at a time. I have zero confidence and no structure. I suck at it.

That's ok.

I have the most wonderful, Godly, sweet, dedicated, sexy, loving, affectionate husband in the world! He is so good to me. I do not know where I would be without him.

Oh, and the Grocery Game! I can't say enough about the Grocery Game! My precious friend, Ginger, introduced me to it sometime back and I regret that I did not take advantage of it until now. Well, not now, about a week and a half ago, really. I just shopped it for the second time yesterday. It totally rocks! As you can see from my previous post, I was quite the champion of the checkout line! haha. Ok, well, I really wanna just start putting all the stuff I got on here because, well, this is my blog and I can if I wanna.

From CVS, I got:

4 boxes of Kraft mac n cheese
4 boxes of Quaker granola bars
3 bottles of Johnson & Johnson baby wash

All for $16.96 - with a discount from sales and coupons of $18.72!!!


From Walgreens, I got:

2 boxes of Fruity Pebbles (kinda' anticlimactic)

All for $2.50 - with a discount from sales and coupons of $6.50!!!


From Albertsons, I got:

8 lbs of ground turkey meat
20 cans of Chef Boyardee pasta
2 jars of Albertson's salsa
5 Lunchables

All for $31.00 - with a discount from sales and coupons of $25.77!!!


From Tom Thumb, I got:

3 boxes of Pop Tarts
4 bottles of Welch's squeeze jelly
2 big bottles of Coffeemate flavored creamer
1 package of Lucerne string cheese
12 3-packs of Rolaids rolls (they paid me .21 per roll to take these!)

All for $18.29 - with a discount from sales and coupons of $26.37!!!


From Kroger (my personal favorite), I got:

4 gallons of milk
4 dozen eggs
12 boxes of Kellogg's cereal
4 lbs breakfast sausage
4 loaves of bread
4 32 oz Gatorades
6 cans of Campbell's condensed soup

All for $29.58 - with a discount from sales and coupons of $48.00!!!

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

I got $223.12 worth of groceries today for $97.76!!! Not bad for my second week grocery gaming.