???

I've got so many things running around in my head that it's just almost silly. Hodge Podge would be a good alternative title for this one.


Josh has been saying he wants to drive the green car. He insists. The conversation usually goes that he wants to drive. He gets asked how old he needs to be to drive and he answers 16. Then he gets asked how old he is and he answers 3. Then he goes on to say how he wants 3 to drive. And he doesn't wanna be 3, he wants to be 16. And then he is 16. And he needs to take off his seat belt so he can drive. He's a good driver. And a good faster driver. And Mommy's not a good faster driver cuz people pass me sometimes. Every.Single.Day.


Anyway, on the way home from the babysitter's yesterday, we went through our conversation a couple of times and it dawned on me that we do this exact same thing to God. We wanna drive. Nevermind that we're 3 and we need to be 16. Nevermind that there's a permit time involved. Nevermind that we don't know the first thing about it except that there's a steering wheel and that we can be faster. Thank you, God, that you have me in a five-point harness in the back seat. That is definitely the safest place for me.


On to other things...

So, I know all the verses and passages about not worrying and all. I really do and I really don't have too much of a problem most of the time. I'm just not gonna go any further with that one.


And other things...

We had to do 5 minute talks this week at school. Scary. But God really worked a number on me. They dropped the 5 min. talk bomb on Monday. It's a "be ready in season and out" kinda' thing. It's supposed to be a surprise. I dodged it pretty hard. And joked about how I was gonna have a coronary. It's really something pretty close to a coronary, I think, when somebody tells me to get in front of a group of people and talk. I can talk from my desk just fine, thank you. I like it even, when it's spontaneous, or a question I need to ask. I just don't wanna stand in front of anybody in any type of a formal type of situation and talk. I mean, who wants to listen to anything I might have to say? They thankfully didn't make it to me on Monday, and I didn't look at the schedule for the rest of the week to see when the next time would be. It's not that I wanted to be surprised, I just didn't think of it.

I love how the Holy Spirit corrects me so lovingly. There is truly no condemnation coming from Him at all. But he doesn't pull any punches either. He showed me that one day in the future, I would be ministering to women. Like in a speaking engagement kind of way. I didn't question it or really think it was silly at all while he was showing it to me. I just accepted it as a gift of Him showing me something to come.

All of a sudden, He put the two together. How can you speak in front of a group of women if you can't speak in front of your brethren? What makes you think that the revelations I give you are for you alone? You are blessed with these revelations to be a blessing to others. What I give you, I give you to share. You're being a bit prideful in keeping yourself to yourself with the things I give you because you are more worried about what other people think of you than what I've given you as a gift to give to others.

Introvertedness is pride. I may have put that on here before somewhere, but it bears repeating. Any time I consider my own opinion of myself above what the Lord says of me, it's pride. Even if that opinion is low instead of the common idea of pride being lofty. Just because I think I'm not interesting or have anything to say doesn't mean that I get to choose to not share what He's given me. It's all about Him anyway, right?

Well, I made it through it without a coronary. And my topic of discussion? I talked about talking in front of people and the work the Lord did in me while I was dodging the situation. Oh, and God's sense of humor...I was dodging the talk in front of one class of about 15 students, so on Wednesday when I did my 5 minutes, the other class combined with ours and added another 8 or so people.

So many things to learn...