Tuesday, February 26, 2008


I am so extremely tired of not sleeping. Joshua went to bed tonight at 7:30 because he didn't get a nap this afternoon. He has been up twice. I do not know what to do with him to get him to sleep all night. He'll be up around 6. I think he's probably slept a total of about 20 nights all the way through in the last 14 months. Even when he does, I don't. He's got me so used to waking at least every 3-4 hours that I wake up, listen to the monitor, and go back to sleep. When is this going to end? I adore my son and am beyond thankful to God that he's healthy and pray continually to keep him that way. I try so hard not to complain simply because he is so healthy and beautiful and I know that there are so many babies out there who aren't and their mom's would trade places with me in an instant. I feel like I'm reaching the end of a rope with this and something is gonna have to give. I cannot function this way. My other kids are suffering because I'm miserable with it. It's draining me.

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