yet again...

I sit here while Josh is screaming bloody murder in his bed. I do not know what makes him not sleep at night. It makes me so angry with God because I just don't understand it. I don't see why this has to be this way. Should I just let him cry all night? Is he teething? He's had ibuprofen. He's hysterical right now. I'm so frustrated. I don't want to get him because I'm already angry with him for not sleeping several nights in a row. I am at my end with this kid. I'm so exhausted. I should not be sitting her with a 16 month old child who WILL NOT sleep! This is so stupid. I start to think God really does care about my rest and then he goes through it all AGAIN. It would be so very different if it were a night or two here or there, but it's not. It's every night. I'm so tired and I hate it when people try to act like they even remotely understand. I have no help with him at all.

God, why can you not change this? It would be so simple for you and it would help him and me both so much. I don't understand? Why? I know it sounds whiney, but I can't take this. Should I just let him cry until he wears himself out every night? I think that is mean, but I am more mean to everybody when I don't sleep. Are you even listening? Do you care? I never thought something so simple as sleep would make me question how much you care about me. I'm so frustrated and I just need to go to bed.