I've posted a little bit other places, but not much...

I figured I'd update here, though.

We went to the Stronger Family Seminar in Atoka, Oklahoma last night and today. It was really quite good. We stayed in the Best Western there in Atoka, and it was really very nice. They have recently redone their rooms and they've done a decent job. I mean, I didn't see it before, but it looks great now. It was clean and the staff was excellent.

The seminar was really very good. I was very glad we went. It was a good time with the kids and a good time in the Lord. It's fun to visit other Victory locations.

Well, I thought I'd put more here, but I'm ready to crash.

I feel like I'm slighting my child or curbing his creativity for not buying him play-doh. Oh, well, I think it was a passing sentiment.

I got nothing

Really. I do. It's sad, actually. I am always writing posts in my head, but they just never make it here. My life is really not boring at all. God shows me so much, I just can't seem to get it here.

Mooney-Mayham and catching up

That was the phrase coined by my brother for what just occurred at our house. I think it's fitting.

Greg, Andrea, Andrew and Paige came for a week. They left and went to Palacios for a few days and then came back with everybody from down there for the 4th weekend. Ma, Pa, Kevin, Wendy, Kayla and Kary all were here for two nights. Kevin and Wendy left and the girls stayed with Ma and Pa for a few more nights. They all went home and Greg and Andrea stayed for another week. It was fun, but definitely crazy.

I am no longer working because David got a new job! Yay! It is awesome to see God work like that. It is exactly tailored to him. It matches his personality and his background perfectly. I'm so excited for him. And for me to get to be home.

The kids are all over the place. Cody and Emily were here for the first half of the summer, and are now at their Mom's. Jake has been here doing summer workouts and then has spent some time with my parents. He also just went to Corpus for a few days to see his Dad who's working there for a bit. He is leaving tomorrow to go on vacation with my parents. Josh and I are leaving on Sunday for a week to Missouri. David will just be here working for the week.

I think that about wraps it up. I'm excited for school to start. Ours starts the day after Labor Day. The kids start Aug 22. Josh will go to a pre-school while I'm at school. Everything is working out beautifully.

I don't even know

It's really late. I think my schedule is all jacked up.

Emily just got here today for her summer visit. She is so grown up. The boys have this week of school left and then I'll have Sophomores. That's so weird.

Josh is having a hard time adjusting to me working still. I think he's getting into a bit of a groove, but it's coming slowly. I think he'd have an easier time if I had a set schedule instead of being all over the map.

David needs to get a full time job. That would change so much.

I miss school already. I think I'm going to look at the schedules and try to make it a few days over the next few weeks to summer school. I hate the thought of going through the entire summer without class. No bueno.

We promoted. We're going to have green lanyards when school starts again! That's awesome! Mom and Dad went to the graduation/promotion ceremonies. It was nice. I think we'll have several people there next year.

Jacob hasn't talked to Ceth since his birthday. That's just stupid. I mean, who does that? And he hasn't seen him since Christmas. Equally as stupid. It's not fair for any kid, but when you have every parent's dream in a kid like Jacob? He's making a colossal mistake in missing out on Jake. Colossal.

Anyway, gonna try to go to bed. I have to work 1-10 tomorrow.

God's Sovereignty

This has been on my heart alot lately. I've been reading blogs that make statements over and over that they don't know why God allows this or that. This is a misunderstanding of God's sovereignty. Is God sovereign? Absolutely. Does mainstream Christianity misunderstand His sovereignty? Absolutely. It breaks my heart to hear God indirectly blamed for "allowing" things that happen to happen. He does not. It is not His will for a baby to die. It's not His will for bad things to happen. Tornadoes are not His will. Tsunamis are not His will. Things are not His will simply because they happen. It makes me so sad when people think that a person is put through horrible things so that they can learn something, or so that somebody else can learn something. Would you make something horrible happen to your child just so they could learn something? Absolutely not. God is no child abuser either.

Being sovereign means to have supreme rank or authority. Yes, God is sovereign. But being in supreme rank or authority does not mean that you are in control of everything. Does anything happen that God does not know happens? Absolutely not. He knows all. Just because He knows something happens does not mean He caused it by allowing it. Does it happen outside of His will? Lots of things do. The Bible clearly states that it is His will that none should perish, but all should be brought to repentance. We know this does not always happen, so in following this line of thinking - not all things that are God's will happen.

I used to struggle with this. And struggle. And stuggle. I was taught that because God is "sovereign", and nothing happens that He doesn't know, inadvertantly, His will is always played out. It is such a hard concept to grasp when most people are filled to overflowing with bad doctrine. I was there. I know how hard it is to renew your mind in mainstream churches.

We live in a fallen world. Some things just happen because of that. We also have an enemy who is here to steal, kill and destroy. Some things happen because of that. We live in ignorance. Some things happen because of that. We are responsible for so much more than we really know. We have authority over so much more than we understand.

When God placed man in the Garden, He gave man authority over the Earth. He never retracted that authority. God is sovereign, yes, but man has been given the authority to subdue the Earth. When man was deceived and sinned, he gave satan a right to some of that authority. When Jesus rose from the grave, He took back all authority in Heaven and Earth. When Jesus left the Earth, He gave that authority back to those who are in Him. By the power of the Holy Spirit, we are restored to our authority, but only in Christ.

I know this came off as sort of a rant, but it's just burning inside of me!

Yesterday

We had no school for the Easter holiday. I worked 9-3:30 and David worked 4:30-10 or something like that. Anyway, in between we had to shuffle Josh. David just came up to Albertson's and we did the switch-off there. Which worked out well because I ended up getting off a bit late, so it would have thrown the whole hour window thingy way off.

Josh and I went to Wendy's and got a Frosty on the way home. After that, we stopped at the post office. While sitting at a red light, there was an suv next to me with two young guys in it. They were laughing, music blaring and shouting something at me. I had glanced over at them for just a second before they started yelling at me. I have no idea what they were saying, but I know it wasn't nice.

I simply sat facing forward and began to pray in the Spirit. After a few minutes of this (longest light in the world), Joshua asked me if I would just roll his window down because they were talking to us. I told him that it wouldn't roll down, so he said ok. Pretty soon, I hear this sweet little voice singing "Jesus Loves Me" kinda' loudly. It was sooo cute! He was making up verses and singing "God makes me so happy..." Oh, my goodness, how I love this kid!

I do not have any idea what makes some people act like those guys did in that suv, but I'm so very thankful that my sweet baby boy has no clue that people in the world are ugly like that. He just thought they were trying to tell us something. And then to just sing like that. So free! It's amazing to listen to him and how he is. He is so secure with where he stands and just simply believes what he's told. Childlike faith is amazing to see in action - especially when it's someone as precious as Josh. I know that's how our Father looks at us. He wants us to simply believe in Him like Josh believes in the world he lives in that revolves around God and his Mama and Daddy. It's just amazing to think about.

I wanna be more like Josh.

some thoughts and lasterday or lastmornin'

So, the job is going alright I guess. On Friday, I got my first check. It wasn't much, but it was only for a few hours. David brought Joshua up there on Friday afternoon to pick up my check and he said that I did not belong there. He said I belong at home. I asked him if I belonged at school and he said yes, but not at that store. I belong at home and school. I told him that we need to pray for the right job to come for Daddy and I'll be back at home quicker than he can say I belong there.

Every time Joshua is trying to express that something happened yesterday or this morning, you guessed it - it's lasterday or lastmornin'. It is so cute! I just didn't want to forget him saying it that way. He's such a sweet little boy. I just can't imagine not having him around.

School's almost out for the year. Wow! I can't believe everything has gone so quickly. The second year class just got back from their mission trip and will give talks about it tomorrow. I'm super duper excited to hear everything that the Lord did in Germany! It's gonna be amazing!

Speaking of second year, I'm about to get to trade my blue first year lanyard in for a green second year lanyard! That's so stinkin' exciting! I love Charis Bible College. Just love it! I can't imagine being anywhere else right now.

Joshua is obsessed with Star Wars. He loves it. I borrowed The Empire Strikes Back from the library the other day and I would think he's watched it no less than 18 times. Seriously.

So, I got a job

First one in 5 years. Actually 5 years exactly this month. Crazy, huh? I interviewed with a company that needs people to pass out fliers. Sounds like a great idea and I wanted to do it, but truly, I can't work every single day. I need to work longer hours, less days, if that makes sense. So, I applied a million and one places, knowing that I really wanted to work customer service or as a cashier or something. Albertson's called me yesterday and asked me if I could come in today. I met with the manager early this morning (6:30) and took the drug test this afternoon. After my background check comes in and the drug test results are back, I'll have orientation scheduled. I will be working the Customer Service area. I'll do money orders, vidoes, cigarettes, that kind of stuff. I truly have mixed emotions about it. I love being at home and being at the disposal of whatever is needed here. Love it. Truly do. But it is necessary right now to work and I am excited about it. I hate the thought of leaving Joshua more, but I know that he needs to do a little bit of letting go of some apron strings. I need to pray about this and make sure I handle everything correctly. I don't want him to feel pushed off, but I need him to get a little better about me leaving him some. He has a horrible time at church. He's fine once I leave, but there's this huge, silly buildup thing that he does. He hates it. Anyway, all for now.

Everything and Nothing at all

I guess I should just call this my "once-in-a-while" blog. I don't really have a title for today's post.

Alot has happened on the personal front. Alot of it I can't/won't put here (that's what my other blog is for).

I'm still at 22 pounds. Which I think is a minor miracle (or major miracle) based on the fact that I went out of town for Spring Break and ate really good. Really good, meaning really bad, or however you wanna look at it. Tomorrow, though, I'm detoxing again. Maybe a smoothie-shakedown? I wanna do smoothies twice a day and then a meal.

This weekend, we're having Taylor's Birthday party at our house. She's so very sweet.

My grandparents are here. I wish I could spend more time with them. I know they are busy, and so am I.

I just uploaded Joshua's picture. I don't like how it is positioned, but it's staying there. I'm going to bed.

It's been a while since I've posted a FFP update.

I'm at 22 pounds!

I am careful when at home and make better choices if I go out to eat, but don't stick to everything legal when I go out.

I love the lifestyle changes that have truly taken place with this. I am a little frustrated with my flax seeds lately. I've gotten two different containers and both of them have the meal instead of the ground flax seed. Frustrating. I'll eventually use it all in my eggs, but that doesn't help for the long life cocktails.

To me, FF is about cleaning up my insides and keeping them clean. As the weight comes off, it's a major bonus, and to be expected, but really it's a side effect of my system running correctly.

FFP

I'm at 15 pounds! Yay! I can tell such a difference. I'm in the "next size down" pants in my closet. I've got two more of "next size down" sizes in there before I'll have to go out and buy some clothes. I think that's fantastic.

I do not plan to keep the bigger sizes this time. I've always done that before and always yo-yo'd. I know that my mind is being renewed to correct eating and I'm not going back.

There is such a difference in me when it comes to eating. My body feels different and I am changing. My whole way of thinking is changing.

It's also trickling down into my family. I no longer buy junk snack foods at all. I don't buy soft drinks or sugary juices. I do get chips and salsa from the Whole Food Market. They aren't heavy chips and salsa eaters, so pretty-much only have it on nights we eat Mexican style foods. As we use the items that are not so good for you - like oils and such - I'm buying better for you foods.

I love it! My skin and hair look better and feel better than they have in years. As I am losing weight, I would expect my stretch marks to be looking worse, but they are actually looking better and better. I believe this comes from the berries in the smoothies and all the flax seed oil.

It's amazing how our bodies respond when we treat them as God created them to be treated.

fasting

God is really showing me some stuff with fasting lately. He's using some really practical things in my life to show them to me, most of which I really can't put here.

When I'm fasting, I perceive so much more in the spiritual realm than I do when I'm not. I know that should be a no-brainer, but it's becaming a reality to me - not just head knowledge.

Fasting is showing the flesh that the spirit is in control. It's training it, so to speak, for spiritual dominion over it. It's practicing taking control over the flesh when it's not a crisis so that when there is a time when the spirit needs to be non-negotiably in control, the flesh is used to hearing its commands.

I really wish I was better at expressing myself when it comes to spiritual things. I know I'm not a teacher, and that the Holy Spirit will give me what I need in certain circumstances. He's done it before and will do it every time. Fasting opens up the realm of understanding. With the flesh subdued, I can see more clearly the things the Father is showing me.

The scripture (can't remember where it is now) that says "awake unto Righteousness" comes to mind. When I'm fasting, it seems that everything is brighter, crisper, easier to comprehend. It's like I've opened up a porthole to the spiritual realm by crucifying my flesh. I'm more awake unto the Righteousness that I am in Him.

It makes sense, really.

The FFP is really a lifestyle fast for me. It's not about my physical form. When I'm trying to change the physical, I can be successful for a time, but will always return to the ingrained way of thinking/living, with the flesh in control. As I allow the spiritual to dominate, my mind is renewed to walking in the Spirit and the physical just follows.

Just like in the Spirit, Soul and Body teaching - If you line up the soul and the spirit, the body follows. I will lose weight, but that's no longer of the utmost importance to me. I want to be awakened unto Righteousness - more and more each day. I know that fasting is one of the tools that God has given us to do just that. Two of the others are Communion and praying in the Spirit (tongues). When all three are combined regularly, well, just wow!

"I'm happy at you."

That's how Josh says he's happy with somebody. "I'm happy at you." I think it comes from "I'm mad at you." Maybe. I don't know. But I think it makes more sense, really.

If you're experiencing an emotion, you're not necessarily experiencing it with somebody as much as at somebody. He also says he's sad at you, or just about anything else at you. Cute.

I love my kids.

A Day in the Life of a Bible School Student and Fat Flusher...

5:30 am - bounce out of bed and drink lemon water and long life cocktail

5:45 am - shower

6:00 am - eat breakfast of piece of Ezekiel bread toast, 2 eggs with flax and blueberries

6:15 am - finish getting dressed and ready for the day

6:45 am - leave for amazing Bible school

8:00 am - Bible school starts :-)

11:50 am - Bible school ends :-(

12:30 pm - eat lunch of chicken breast and salad

1:30-2:00 pm - Joshua gets a nap

3:30-4:00 pm - Joshua gets up

5:30 pm - eat dinner of a smoothie for me and something else for everybody else

10:00ish pm - drink lemon water, long life cocktail and bedtime

Unless, of course, you're iced and snowed in, like today. Then it throws it all off. That's ok, though.

Cranwater

I've totally been making it wrong! How dumb!

I was supposed to do 4 oz of cranberry juice to 28 oz of water. Well, I did it to make a total of 64 oz of water. I feel like such a dork. I drank it correctly today and well, it was a bit stronger.

Hmmm...oh, well.

I hate eggs...

But I love this recipe I found on a FFP messageboard the other day.

I didn't take a picture because it doesn't look very pretty.

Whisk two eggs in a bowl. Add 3 Tablespoons of ground flax seeds, 2 Tablespoons of water and 4 packets of Splenda. Mix that up really well and then add about 1/2 cup of fresh blueberries.

The recipe said to make it like a pancake, but I made it like scrambled eggs. I sprayed a bit of olive oil Pam on the pan first to keep it from sticking.

It is sooo yummy with some cinnamon on top!

Snow Days

So, the kids will be out for their 4th day tomorrow. I actually have enjoyed it quite a bit.

We did get out today for a Walmart run. Our drive and street are about 1 1/2 - 2 inches thick of ice. On the street, there were a few patches of concrete that the sun had melted yesterday, but it was still rather slick. Our drive was crazy getting back up. David had to back into the drive across the street and sorta shoot into ours and into the garage. Fun stuff.

Joshua's getting a little stir crazy, but we got him Candyland and Chutes and Ladders today at Walmart. He's playing Candyland with David right now. We had a round earlier today.

I think I should say...

I am not happy with this sugar rush feeling I have. My head is almost achy and I am starting to feel a bit irritable.

Please, Lord, remind me of this feeling when I want more ice cream cake. Or anything else sweet for that matter. It's not a happy feeling and I don't like it.

Things really change drastically when you get off all the crappy foods and eat healthy for a while. I think I like the healthy way better.

Ummm...

I'm pretty sure that ice cream cake wasn't on the FFP. Oops. Oh, well. What do you do when you fall off the horse? You just jump back in the saddle.

I read one of the moderators on the message board say that you should pay really close attention to your body and it's cravings. I think I missed something. I've been really, really craving different foods yesterday and today. I should have moved on to the 2nd phase yesterday, I think, even though it hasn't been quite two weeks. Almost, but not quite.

But...NO condemnation! I am not going to worry about it. I will do fine, even with a little bump in the road.

On to other things...

Tomorrow it's supposed to be record-breaking cold. There's supposed to be serious ice with snow on top. I think we'll be home for a few days. I stopped by the store and got a few things for FFP and just in general. I called David and asked him if there was anything he needed - like food or something. He told me he thought I should get firewood and some fireplace tools. Um, ok. So I embarked.

I stopped at Target thinking this was a no-brainer. I could get cranberry juice (surely they'd have organic, nothing-but-the-juice juice, right?), Ezekiel Bread (if not, whole foods is right there), and fireplace tools. I could stop somewhere and grab a couple little bundles of firewood after that just anywhere. I was so wrong. Just like always when it comes to Target. I can never find anything there unless I just wanna browse. Or get a card. Or maybe a child's birthday present. Otherwise, it just doesn't work for me. I should learn.

From there, I went to Whole Foods and I just love that store! I wish we could afford to get everything there. I would go every few days and just buy what we need for a few days. I really, really want our family to eat better. We're heading that way.

Next was Albertson's (for firewood), Home Depot and then Lowe's. Everybody is out of fireplace tools. Seriously, each store I went to told me they just sold out. Like 15 minutes before I got there. At Lowe's, I talked to a guy about gas fire logs. He didn't have any that would work in our fireplace that were the right size, so I moved on. David and I talked about it and decided to try a store in Allen called Firehouse. I headed that way.

Stacy's furniture is in the same parking lot and they had a sign out saying their fire logs were on sale, so I stopped in. I talked to a really nice sales lady who basically said that we weren't going to find what we were looking for. She said we were looking at about a $400 cost for what we wanted and they would install it. I told her thanks and left.

At Firehouse, I told the guy that we weren't really looking for pretty, more like, if the electricity goes out, we can have something in the fireplace rather than wood that will put out some heat. (I should interject here that Stacy's had fireplace tools for $190.00. No, thank you.) I told him we didn't want the whole kit, just the logs. He said he could split a kit, but for our logs alone it would still run about $125.00. (I should interject here that I had prayed between Stacy's and the Firehouse for favor because this was really getting old.) He perked up and said to wait a minute. He had some in the back that were pulled down from a display and were used, but I could have them for $50.00. That rocks!

So now we have a fire in the fireplace. It's not as pretty as a professional job, but it's there and looks fine. The only difference is the flames underneath are not covered up. I don't care.